Showing posts with label Grammar Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Grammar Jokes. Show all posts

MY MOTHER HELPS ME - VERY FUNNY CHILDREN JOKES

A small Indian boy appeared in the class of a London schoolteacher for the first time and she asked him his name:

"Venkataratnam Narasimha Rattaiah," he said.

When she asked, "How do you spell it?"

He replied: "My mother helps me."

ENGLISH LANGUAGE - FUNNY FACTS

An oldie, but favorite…

Did you know that “verb” is a noun?

How can you look up words in a dictionary if you can’t spell them?

If a word is misspelled in a dictionary, how would we ever know?

If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice, why aren’t two houses hice?

If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

If you’ve read a book, you can reread it. But wouldn’t this also mean that you would have to “member” somebody in order to remember them?

In Chinese, why are the words for crisis and opportunity the same?

Is it a coincidence that the only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable?

Is there another word for a synonym?

Shouldn’t there be a shorter word for “monosyllabic”?

What is another word for “thesaurus”?

Where do swear words come from?

Why can’t you make another word using all the letters in “anagram”?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

Why do people use the word “irregardless”?

Why do some people type “cool” as “kewl?”

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Why do we say something’s out of order when its broken but we never say in of order when it works?

Why does “cleave” mean both split apart and stick together?

Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?

Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

Why does the Chinese ideogram for trouble symbolize two women living under one roof?

Why does X stand for a kiss and O stand for a hug?

Why doesn’t “onomatopoeia” sound like what it is?

Why don’t we say “why” instead of “how come”?

Why is “crazy man” an insult, while to insert a comma and say “Crazy, man!” is a compliment?

Why are a wise man and wise guy opposites?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Why is dyslexic so hard to spell?

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?

Why is it that no word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple?

Why is it that the word “gullible” isn’t in the dictionary?

Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital?

Why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

Why is the plural of goose-geese, and not the plural of moose-meese?

Why isn’t “palindrome” spelled the same way backwards?

Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

HILARIOUS JOKES - THE NON-EXISTENT CHAIR

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on top of his desk and wrote on the board:
"Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class, however, was up and finished in less than a minute.
A week later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an "A" when he had barely written anything at all.

His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"

VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - SADAR BAZAAR

Ustad (Pappu se): "Iss fiqray ka tarjama english mein karo k 'Sadar bazaar mein goliyan chal rahi hein'."
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Pappu ne kuch youn tarjama kiya: "The tablets are running in the sadar bazaar."

FUNNY URDU JOKES - HAM DOODH PEETA HAI

Aik inspector school k moainay k liye tashreef laye, saatween (7th) class mein daakhil ho kar unhon ne black board per fiqra likha "Ham doodh peeta hai" aur aik larkay ki taraf ishara kartay huye poocha: "Iss jumlay mein kya ghalti hai?"
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Pathan larkay ne pur aitmaad lehjay mein jawab diya: "Janab! Jumla to theek hai, aap ki likhaee bohat kharab hai."

VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - BEWAQOOF SARDAR

Aik sardar ji ko maloom hua k aik tota bazaar mein biknay k liye aaya hai jo teen (3) zubanein janta hai.
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To sardar ji aazmanay k liye gaye aur jatay hi totay se daryaft kiya: "How are you?"
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Tota bola: "Fine, thank you."
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Sardar ji dobara bolay: "Kya haal hai?"
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Tota bola: "Theek hai bhaee."
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Inn sardar ji ne teesri dafa phir poocha: "Ki haal ey?"
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Iss per tota kafi barham ho kar bola: "O bewaqoofa haal hi puchi jaein ga k koi hor vi gall karein ga?"

REALLY FUNNY URDU JOKES - BULBUL

Ustad (Pappu se): "Bulbul ka muzakkar batao?"
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Pappu: "Janab! Bulbulah."
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Ustad (danda uthatay huye): "Aur jama?"
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Pappu: "Janab! Ababeel."

VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - M.A AUR A.B.C

Sardar: "Main M.A mein pass hoon."
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Pathan: "O khocha! Amm to poori A.B.C mein pass hai."

REALLY FUNNY URDU JOKES - URDU AUR ANGRAIZI

Sardar ji pathan se: "Khan sahb kya tum angraizi jantay ho?"
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Pathan: "Han! Agar urdu mein boli jaye."

FUNNY ONE LINERS - MOTHER TONGUE

Our language is called MOTHER TONGUE as father rarely gets a chance to speak!

VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - PAPPU, PAPPU, PAPPU

Aik professor class mein zehan aur zehni salahiyat k mozu per lecture day rahay thay.
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Unhon ne kaha: "Agar kisi lafz lo paanch (5) baar dohraya jaye to woh hamesha hamesha k liye aap ka ho jata hai."
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Pehli seat per baithi huee pinki zer-e-labb barrbarranay lagi: "Pappu...Pappu...Pappu...Pappu...Pappu."

VERY VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - I LOVE YOU

Pathan aik larki se: "I love you."
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Larki: "Tameez se baat karo."
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Pathan: "Bismillah Hir Rehman Nir Raheem," With due respect I beg to say that I love you."

VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - SHAADI SHUDA

Ustad ne shagird se kaha: "Uss ne khudkhushi kar li aur ussay khudkhushi karni parri... Donon jumlon mein wazeh farq batao."
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"Iss ka to seedha saadha jawab hai sir!" Shagird ne kaha: "Phela jumla zahir karta hai keh woh parrha likha berozgaar tha jabkeh doosray jumlay se pata chalta hai keh woh shaadi shuda tha."

VERY VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - PINKI

Zuban aur qawaed k ustad ne class mein lecture detay huye kaha: "Agar koi bhi lafz paanch (5) baar dohraein gay to woh hamesha k liye aap ka ho jaye ga."
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Pehli line mein baithay huye Pappu ne zer-e-lab dohrana shuru kar diya: "Pinki...Pinki...Pinki."

HILARIOUS JOKES - THE ABSENCE

An 8 year old boy has been absent from school for a week so the truant officer goes to his home and rings the doorbell. The boy answers the door smoking a large cigar and holding a scotch and soda.
The truant officer asks: "Is your mother home?"
The boy answers: "What do you think?"

COMPILER - HILARIOUS JOKES

This definition of "compiler" must rank as the BEST of the possible wrong answers. Written by a student in a introductory Computer Science course.
"A compiler's primary function is to compile, organize the compilation, and go right back to compiling. It compiles basically only those things that require to be compiled, ignoring things that should not be compiled. The main way a compiler compiles, is to compile the things to be compiled until the compilation is complete."

ISM-E-ZARF - VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES

Aik shakhs (Pappu se): "Aap ka ism-e-garami kya hai?"
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Pappu (kuch dair sochnay k baad): "Abhi tak to ham ne 'Ism-e-zarf' hi parrha hai."

POORAY DASS (10) NUMBER - FUNNY URDU JOKES

Beta (baap se): "Abba jaan! Laein mera inaam, aaj main ne imtehaam mein pooray dass (10) number liye hein."
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Baap (khush hotay huye): "Beta! Yeh to batao keh kis mazmoon mein liye hein?"
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Beta: "Immla mein sifar (0) aur grammar mein (1)."

PAANI BHAR AAYA - VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES

Ustad (shagird se): "Jumla banao! 'Meray munh mein paani bhar aaya'."
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Shagird: "Jab main ne nalkay ko munh lagaya to meray munh mein paani bhar aaya."

ZAMANA MAAZI - HILARIOUS URDU GRAMMAR JOKE

Teacher: "Main khoobsurat hoon. Yeh kaunsa zamana hai?"
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Student: "Zamana maazi."
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Teacher: "Woh kaisay?"
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Student: "Iss liye k abb aap ki khoobsurti k zamana guzar chuka hai."