WAKEEL KI WASIYAT - HILARIOUS JOKES

Aik wakeel ne wasiyat ki
k uss ki tamam property aur rupeya uss k marnay k baad pagalon mein taqseem kr di jaye.

Logon ne wajah poochi to wakeel kehnay laga:

"Yeh sab kuch mujhay aisay hi logon se mila hai."

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MOST FUNNY ONE LINERS - BEST LIAR

"Some people don't change, they just learn to lie batter..."

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FUNNY PUNJABI JOKES - MOLA KHUSH RAKHAY

Judge: "Tum teesri baar adaalat mein aa rahay ho, tumhein sharam nahi aati?"
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Sardar: "Mola khush rakhay, janab tusi roz aanday O, tuwano tay fer dubb k mar jana chahi da ey..."

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VERY FUNNY ENGLISH JOKES - DAMN

Old meaning of sorry: "I won't do it again."

New meaning of sorry: "Damn I got caught, next time I need to be more careful..."

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HILARIOUS JOKES - PRACTICING LAW

A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner.
The attorney asks, "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man's pulse?"
The coroner says, "No."
The attorney then asks, "Did you listen for a heart beat?"
"No."
"So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?"
The corner, now tired of the brow beating says, "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk, but for all I know he could be out there practicing law somewhere."

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HILARIOUS JOKES - THE LYING BASTARD

A judge asks a defendant to please stand up.
"You're charged with murdering a garbage man with a chain saw."
From the back of the courtroom a man shouts, "You lying bastard!"
"Silence in the court!"
The judge turns to the defendant again and says, "You're also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel."
"You tightwad!" blurts the spectator.
"Quiet!" yelled the judge. "You're also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill."
"You cheap son of a..." the spectator starts to shout.
The judge thunders back, "I will hold you in contempt. What is the reason for your outbursts?"
"I've lived next to that lying bastard for 10 years now, but do you think he ever had a tool when I needed to borrow one?"

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HILARIOUS JOKES - GETTING INTO THE HOUSE

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

"You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant.

"No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"

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HILARIOUS JOKES - MUCH THE SAME WAY

A doctor had just bought a villa on the French Riviera, when met an old lawyer friend whom he hadn’t seen in years, and they started talking. The lawyer, as it turned out, owned a nearby villa. They discussed how they came to retire to the Riviera.

“Remember that lousy office complex I bought?” asked the lawyer, “Well, it caught fire, and I retired here with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?”

The doctor replied, “Remember that real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds. It’s amazing that we both ended up here in pretty much the same way.”

“It sure is,” the lawyer replied, looking puzzled, “but I’m confused about one thing – how do you start a flood?”

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HILARIOUS JOKES - THE DRUNKARD

A drunkard was hauled in court.

Judge: So, you are here for drinking.
Drunker: Awesome! When do we start the next session of drinking, sir?

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HILARIOUS JOKES - ASSHOLE

A man in a bar stands up and proclaims, "All lawyers are ASSHOLES!"
2nd Man: Hey! I resent that!
1st Man: Why, are you a lawyer?
2nd Man: No! I'm an asshole!

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HILARIOUS JOKES - THE PROUD FATHERS

3 men were gathering one day to talk about how successful there sons were doing.

The first man says, "My son has been doing so successful as a lawyer he got a mansion and shares it with his friend."

The second mans says, "My son has been so successful as a doctor that he bought a converatable and a private jet for his friend."

The third man says, "Well, my son hasn't been so "successful". In fact, I just learned he was gay and I've accepted that fact. I guess he must be doing good though because he lives in a mansion with his friend and owns a private jet and a convertable."

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HILARIOUS JOKES - LEGAL ADVICE

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.
Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, “What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you’re out of the office?”
“I give it to them,” replied the lawyer, “and then I send them a bill.”
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.
The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.
When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

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HILARIOUS JOKES - THE EARLY BIRD

It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. “What are you charged with?” he asked.
“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.
“That’s no offense,” replied the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”
“Before the store opened,” countered the prisoner.

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HILARIOUS JOKES - THE NON-EXISTENT CHAIR

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on top of his desk and wrote on the board:
"Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class, however, was up and finished in less than a minute.
A week later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an "A" when he had barely written anything at all.

His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"

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FUNNY ONE LINERS - DIFFERENCE

What's the difference between a blonde and a fridge? A fridge doesn't fart when you take your meat out.

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HILARIOUS JOKES - THE BLONDE AND THE PLOW

A blonde got lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. ”If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it.” Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about 45 minutes.
Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, ”Well, I’m done with the parking lot here at Wal-Mart, now you can follow me over to K-Mart.”

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VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - CHORI KA ILZAAM

Judge (mulzim se): "Tumharay khilaaf chori ka ilzaam saabit nahi ho saka iss liye tumhein reha kiya jata hai."
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Mulzim: "Janab! Mujhay aik hafta qaid mein rakha gaya hai, iss k badlay mein koi chhota mota jurm karnay ki ijazat hai kya?"

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REALLY FUNNY URDU JOKES - SARKARI KAAM

Wakeel (mulzim se): "Tumhein kis ilzaam mein griftaar kiya gaya hai?"
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Mulzim: "Sarkari kaam mein rukawat daalnay k ilzaam mein."
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Wakeel: "Tum ne kya kiya tha? "
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Mulzim: "Police wala paanch so (500) rupay maang raha tha aur main ussay sirf do so (200) rupay dena chahta tha."

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VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - BEWAQOOF SARDAR

Judge (aik sardar se jis per qatal ka ilzaam tha): "Kya tum ne maqtool ko qatal kiya hai?"
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Sardar: "Ji nahi janab!"
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Judge (hoshiyari se): "Magar maqtool ka beyaan hai k tum ne ussay cheyh (6) goliyan maari theen."
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Sardar (jaldi se): "Yeh jhoot hai, main ne to uss ko sirf teen (3) goliyaan maari theen."

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REALLY FUNNY URDU JOKES - WAKEEL

Ustad: "Kal apnay walid sahb ko saath lana, unn se baat karni hai."
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Pappu: "Master sahb! Meray walid sahb wakeel hein aur baghair fees k woh kisi se baat nahi kartay."

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