"What made you marry Daddy, Mummy?"
"So you're beginning to wonder, too!"
"So you're beginning to wonder, too!"
Showing posts with label Son Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Son Jokes. Show all posts
BAA - FUNNY FATHER AND SON JOKE
Father: What did the teacher think of your idea?
Son: She took it like a lamb.
Father: Really?What did she say?
Son: Baa!
Son: She took it like a lamb.
Father: Really?What did she say?
Son: Baa!
HILARIOUS JOKES - THE BETTER ONE
Two little boys were arguing.
“My father is better than your father!”
“No he’s not!”
“My brother is better than your brother!”
“No he’s not!”
“My mother is better than your mother!”
The second boy paused. “Well I guess you’ve got me there. My father says the same thing.”
HILARIOUS JOKES- THE ACTION OF BUYING
Little Johnny is attending a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump and chest.
After a few minutes of watching, Johnny asked his father: "Dad, why are you doing that?"
His father replied: "Because when I'm buying horses I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy them."
Johnny gets a worried look on his face and says to his dad: "Dad, I think the Fedex guy wants to buy mom."
HILARIOUS JOKES - PHILOSOPHY AT DATING
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice.
The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy."
The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds.
He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic.
He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns.
After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again.
The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"
The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy."
The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds.
He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic.
He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns.
After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again.
The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"
HILARIOUS JOKES - JUST LAUGHING
Little Johnny came downstairs crying loudly.
"What's the matter?" asked his mother.
"Papa was hanging pictures, and he just hit his thumb with a hammer," said Johnny.
"That's not so serious," soothed his mother. A big man like you shouldn't cry at a trifle like that. Why didn't you just laugh?"
"I did," sobbed Little Johnny.
"What's the matter?" asked his mother.
"Papa was hanging pictures, and he just hit his thumb with a hammer," said Johnny.
"That's not so serious," soothed his mother. A big man like you shouldn't cry at a trifle like that. Why didn't you just laugh?"
"I did," sobbed Little Johnny.
HILARIOUS JOKES - JESUS IS OUT THERE
A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom.
The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark."
The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you."
The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?"
"Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said.
The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"
The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark."
The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you."
The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?"
"Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said.
The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"
HILARIOUS JOKES - THE PROUD FATHERS
3 men were gathering one day to talk about how successful there sons were doing.
The first man says, "My son has been doing so successful as a lawyer he got a mansion and shares it with his friend."
The second mans says, "My son has been so successful as a doctor that he bought a converatable and a private jet for his friend."
The third man says, "Well, my son hasn't been so "successful". In fact, I just learned he was gay and I've accepted that fact. I guess he must be doing good though because he lives in a mansion with his friend and owns a private jet and a convertable."
The first man says, "My son has been doing so successful as a lawyer he got a mansion and shares it with his friend."
The second mans says, "My son has been so successful as a doctor that he bought a converatable and a private jet for his friend."
The third man says, "Well, my son hasn't been so "successful". In fact, I just learned he was gay and I've accepted that fact. I guess he must be doing good though because he lives in a mansion with his friend and owns a private jet and a convertable."
HILARIOUS JOKES - THE NOISY KID
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ”If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I’d be a little bull.”
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ”If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.”
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ”What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!”
The kid smiles and says, ”I would be a bus driver!”
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ”If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.”
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ”What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!”
The kid smiles and says, ”I would be a bus driver!”
HILARIOUS JOKES - ONCE AND ONLY ONCE
A sale representative stops at a small manufacturing plant. He presents a box of cigars to the manager as a gift.
"No, thanks," says the plant manager. "I tried smoking a cigar once, but I didn't like it."
The sales rep shows his display case and then, hoping to clinch a sale, offers to take the manager out for a round of drinks.
"No, thanks," the plant manager replies. "You know, I tried alcohol once, but didn't like it."
Then the salesman glances out the office window and sees a golf course.
"I suppose you play golf," says the salesman. "I'd like to invite you to be a guest at my club."
"That's kind of you, but no, thanks," the manager says. "I played golf once, but I didn't like it."
Just then a young man enters the office.
"Let me introduce my son, Mike," says the plant manager.
"Let me guess," the salesman replies. "An only child?"
"No, thanks," says the plant manager. "I tried smoking a cigar once, but I didn't like it."
The sales rep shows his display case and then, hoping to clinch a sale, offers to take the manager out for a round of drinks.
"No, thanks," the plant manager replies. "You know, I tried alcohol once, but didn't like it."
Then the salesman glances out the office window and sees a golf course.
"I suppose you play golf," says the salesman. "I'd like to invite you to be a guest at my club."
"That's kind of you, but no, thanks," the manager says. "I played golf once, but I didn't like it."
Just then a young man enters the office.
"Let me introduce my son, Mike," says the plant manager.
"Let me guess," the salesman replies. "An only child?"
HILARIOUS JOKES - LEAVING FOR ADVENTURE
During one "generation gap" quarrel with his parents young Michael cried, "I want excitement, adventure, money, and beautiful women. I'll never find it here at home, so I'm leaving. Don't try and stop me!"
With that he headed toward the door. His father rose and followed close behind.
"Didn't you hear what I said? I don't want you to try and stop me."
"Who's trying to stop you?" replied his father. "If you wait a minute, I'll go with you."
With that he headed toward the door. His father rose and followed close behind.
"Didn't you hear what I said? I don't want you to try and stop me."
"Who's trying to stop you?" replied his father. "If you wait a minute, I'll go with you."
VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - FAIL
Baap (Pappu se): "Beta! Gham na karo, tumhari taqdeer mein fail hona likha tha to tum fail
ho gaye."
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Pappu: "Tab to acha hua daddy! Main ne parrhaee mein mehnat nahi ki warna saari mehnat bekaar ho jati."
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Pappu: "Tab to acha hua daddy! Main ne parrhaee mein mehnat nahi ki warna saari mehnat bekaar ho jati."
FUNNY URDU JOKES - HYPNOTISM
Aik boorrhi aurat neend na aanay k marz mein griftaar thi.
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Doctoron se mayoos ho kar woh aik mahir-e-hypnotism k paas gaee.
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Woh bhi unhein bitha kar bohat dair tak "aap so rahi hein, aap ko neend aa rahi hai," waghaira kehta raha magar baat na bani.
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Bilaakhir uss ne paseena ponchtay huye kaha: "Main muafi chahta hoon, khatoon main aap ko sulanay mein nakaam raha."
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Iss baat per boorrhi aurat ne kaha: "Khair beta! Tum bilkil nakaam bhi nahi huye, kam az kam meri taangein to so gaee hein."
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Doctoron se mayoos ho kar woh aik mahir-e-hypnotism k paas gaee.
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Woh bhi unhein bitha kar bohat dair tak "aap so rahi hein, aap ko neend aa rahi hai," waghaira kehta raha magar baat na bani.
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Bilaakhir uss ne paseena ponchtay huye kaha: "Main muafi chahta hoon, khatoon main aap ko sulanay mein nakaam raha."
,
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Iss baat per boorrhi aurat ne kaha: "Khair beta! Tum bilkil nakaam bhi nahi huye, kam az kam meri taangein to so gaee hein."
VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - IMTEHAAN
Maa ne betay ko leta hua daikh kar kaha: "Tumharay imtehaan shuru honay walay hein aur tum
ho k raat din sotay rehtay ho."
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Betay ne jawab diya: "Ammi! Master sahb ne kaha tha k tum uss waqt hi paas ho saktay ho jab din raat aik kar do."
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Betay ne jawab diya: "Ammi! Master sahb ne kaha tha k tum uss waqt hi paas ho saktay ho jab din raat aik kar do."
VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - AMMI ABBU
Ustad (Pappu se): "Kal tum school kion nahi aaye?"
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Pappu: "Janab! Kal meray ammi abbu ki laraee ho gaee thi."
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Ustad: "Tum kya kar rahay thay?"
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Pappu: "Janab! Main jootiyaan pakrra raha tha."
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Pappu: "Janab! Kal meray ammi abbu ki laraee ho gaee thi."
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Ustad: "Tum kya kar rahay thay?"
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Pappu: "Janab! Main jootiyaan pakrra raha tha."
VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - SONAY KI DUA
Aik admi (Pappu se): "Kya tum raat ko dua parrh kar sotay ho?"
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Pappu ne jawab diya: "Nahi, albatta meri ammi dua parrh kar soti hein."
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Admi: "Woh kya parrh kar soti hein?"
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Pappu: "Ya allah! Tera shukar hai k Pappu so gaya hai."
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Pappu ne jawab diya: "Nahi, albatta meri ammi dua parrh kar soti hein."
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Admi: "Woh kya parrh kar soti hein?"
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Pappu: "Ya allah! Tera shukar hai k Pappu so gaya hai."
VERY VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - CHAAND AUR TAARA
Beta (baap se): "Abbu! Aap to mujh se bilkul muhabbat nahi kartay, jabkeh parros walay uncle
apnay betay ko chaand aur taara keh kar bulaatay hein."
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Baap ne jawab diya: "Betay! Baat yeh hai k woh mahir-e-falkiyaat hein aur main jaanwaron ka doctor hoon."
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Baap ne jawab diya: "Betay! Baat yeh hai k woh mahir-e-falkiyaat hein aur main jaanwaron ka doctor hoon."
VERY VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - AIK RUPEYA
Sheikh baap (betay se): "Agar main tumhein aik rupeya don to tum uss ka kya karo gay?"
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Beta: "Abbu! Main aap ko wapas kar don ga."
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Baap ne heran ho kar poocha: "Woh kion?"
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Betay ne jawab diya: "Iss liye k meray so janay baad waisay bhi aap meri jaib se woh rupeya nikaal hi lein gay."
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Beta: "Abbu! Main aap ko wapas kar don ga."
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Baap ne heran ho kar poocha: "Woh kion?"
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Betay ne jawab diya: "Iss liye k meray so janay baad waisay bhi aap meri jaib se woh rupeya nikaal hi lein gay."
REALLY FUNNY URDU JOKES - CRICKET TEST MATCH
Cricket test match ho raha tha.
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Stadium k gate per aik larka pass dikha kar andar janay laga to gate keeper ne kaha: "Yeh tumhara pass to nahi hai."
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Larkay ne jawab diya: "Ji han! Yeh meray walid sahb ka hai."
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Gate keeper ne poocha: "Woh kion nahi aaye?"
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Larkay ne jawab diya: "Woh bohat masroof hein."
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Gate keeper ne poocha: "Woh kya kar rahay hein?"
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Larkay ne masoomiyat se jawab diya: "Apna pass talash kar rahay hein."
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Stadium k gate per aik larka pass dikha kar andar janay laga to gate keeper ne kaha: "Yeh tumhara pass to nahi hai."
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Larkay ne jawab diya: "Ji han! Yeh meray walid sahb ka hai."
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Gate keeper ne poocha: "Woh kion nahi aaye?"
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Larkay ne jawab diya: "Woh bohat masroof hein."
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Gate keeper ne poocha: "Woh kya kar rahay hein?"
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Larkay ne masoomiyat se jawab diya: "Apna pass talash kar rahay hein."
VERY VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - TOPI
Beta (maa se): "Ammi jaan! Iss sheeshi mein kaunsa tail hai?"
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Maa ne jawab diya: "Beta! Iss mein to gond hai."
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Beta: "Tabhi main kahon k meri topi sar se kion nahi utar rahi?"
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Maa ne jawab diya: "Beta! Iss mein to gond hai."
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Beta: "Tabhi main kahon k meri topi sar se kion nahi utar rahi?"
