HILARIOUS JOKES - THE LYING BASTARD

A judge asks a defendant to please stand up.
"You're charged with murdering a garbage man with a chain saw."
From the back of the courtroom a man shouts, "You lying bastard!"
"Silence in the court!"
The judge turns to the defendant again and says, "You're also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel."
"You tightwad!" blurts the spectator.
"Quiet!" yelled the judge. "You're also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill."
"You cheap son of a..." the spectator starts to shout.
The judge thunders back, "I will hold you in contempt. What is the reason for your outbursts?"
"I've lived next to that lying bastard for 10 years now, but do you think he ever had a tool when I needed to borrow one?"