- You should need a license to be that ugly.
- Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut it down.
- Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental.
- Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
- You are as useless as rubber lips on a woodpecker.
- You've got diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas.
- I wonder whether you'd still be an idiot if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
- Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
- Your job must be to spread ignorance.
- Don't let your mind wander -- it's too little to be left out alone.
- Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?
- If you don't like my opinion of you - improve yourself.
- I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.
- I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.
- It is mind over matter. I don't mind, because you don't matter.
- Every boy has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege.
- Grasp your ears firmly and remove your head from your ass.
- I've come across decomposing bodies that are less offensive than you are.
- I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission.
- Look, don't go to a mind reader; go to a palmist; I know you've got a palm.
- Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.
- People can't say that you have absolutely nothing. After all, you have inferiority!
- Perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
- You are about as useful as a windshield wiper on a goat's ass.
- You are living proof that manure can grow legs and walk.
- You have an inferiority complex - and it's fully justified.
- Aren't you the poster child for birth control?
- I know you're a self-made man. It's nice of you to take the blame.
- I know you're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be.
- I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.
- I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
- If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents.
- If I want your stupid opinion, I'll beat it out of you.
- Someone said you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up for the pigs.
- The inbreeding is certainly obvious in your family.
- We all spring from apes but you didn't spring far enough.
- We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm God.
- When you fell out of the ugly tree, you hit every branch on the way down.
- When you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you but the Mafia wanted too much.
- You have the IQ of lint.
- You are depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
- You are living proof that man can live without a brain.
- People would follow you anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
- I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening.
- I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.
- I feel sorry for you because you are so homely but I feel even sorrier for other people because they have to look at you.
- When you were born, God admitted that even He could make a mistake!
- If I wanted to hear from an ass, I'd fart.
- Shouldn't a guy with your IQ have a low voice too?
- After meeting you, I've decided I am in favor of abortion in cases of incest.
