FUNNY URDU JOKES - 11 SAAL AUR 11 MAHEENAY

Ticket checker (larkay se): "Sirf 12 saal se kam umar k bachay hi aadhi ticket per safar kar saktay hein. Tumhari umar kitni hai?"
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Larka: "11 saal, 11 maheenay, 29 dinn aur 23 ghantay."
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Ticket checker: "12 saal kab pooray hon gay?"
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Larka: "Jab main iss bus se bahar nikal jaon ga."

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REALLY FUNNY URDU JOKES - KHATOON AUR DRIVER

Taxi driver ne gardan morr kar pichli seat per baithi moammar khatoon se poocha: "Kya aap k daant asli hein?"
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"Kya bakwas kartay ho? Tumhein aisa sawal karnay ki jurrat kaisay huee?" Khatoon ghussay se aaga bagola ho gaeen.
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"Mohtarma! Aagay raasta kharab hai iss liye poocha hai k daant naqli hein to pehlay hi utaar kar mehfooz kar lein warna taxi k jhatkon se munh kat jaye ga."

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REALLY FUNNY URDU JOKES - PATHAN AUR SARDAR

Shehar ki masroof tareen shahrah per ain wast mein aik pathan ne apni cycle rok kar stand per kharri kar di aur aik dam se tiffan haath mein lay kar khol kar daikhnay laga.
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Rush tha traffic jam ho gaee.
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Aik sardar ji gaarri se utray aur uss k paas aa kar intehaee ghussay se bolay: "Khan sahb! Yeh kya harkat hai?"
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Khan sahb itminan se bolay: "Khocha! Ham check kar raha tha apna lunch box... Agar yeh khali hota to iss ka matlab hai amm duty kar chuka hai aur ghar ja raha hai aur agar lunch mojood hai to phir amm duty per ja raha hai."

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VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - KALMA PARRHO

British airways ka aik taiyara parwaz k doran kisi fanni kharabi ka shikar ho gaya.
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Pakistan ki fizaee hudood k qareeb tha lehaza uss k pilot ne behtar samjha k control tower se rabta kar k mechanki madad li jaye.
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Uss ne control tower se rabta kiya aur jo guftugu unn k darmeyan huee, woh darj zail hai.
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"Meri madad karo... Meray jahaz k daein engine ne kaam karna chhorr diya hai. Main kya karon?... Over."

"Fuel check karein. Rear engine check karo... OVer."

"Feul wali suee kam nahi kar rahi hai, rear engine bhi kharab hai... Over."

"Emergency engine ko on karo aur pahiye kholo aur land karnay ki koshish karo... Over."

"Emergency engine on nahi ho raha aur pahiye jam hein. Land nahi ho sakta... Over."

"Phir jo main parrhta hoon woh parrho aur tamam musafaron se kaho k parrhein... Over."

"Ji main sun raha hoon, boliye... OVer."

"Ashhad o alla ilaha illalah."

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VERY VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - DRIVER

Shohar: "Main driver ko naukri se nikaal raha hoon, aaj chothi martaba martay martay bacha hoon."
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Biwi: "Uss ko aik moqa to aur do na."

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REALLY FUNNY URDU JOKES - LAHORE MEIN TEEKAY

Party mein uss haseen larki ki qameez kohniyon tak thi, uss k bawajood aik naujawan uss ki sadol kalaiyon ko lalchaee huee nazron se daikhay ja raha tha.
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Larki guftugu k doran uss larkay k nadeeday pan ko mehsoos kartay huye boli: "Halankeh mujhay bachpan mein hifazti teekay bhi lagg chukay hein lekin pichlay dinon mera blood test karnay k baad doctor ne chand beemariyon k teekay dobara lagaye, woh jaga abhi tak buri tarah dukh rahi hai jahan teekay lagay hein."
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"Kahan lagaya thay aap ko teekay?" Naujawan ne ishtiyaq se poocha.
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"Lahore mein." Larki ne barri masoomiyat se jawab diya aur aagay barrh gaee.

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VERY VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - HAJJAM (NAEE)

Taiz gaam musafir train mein do (2) musafir safar kar rahay thay.
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Aik ne doosray se poocha: "Yaar tum din mein kitni baar daarrhi banatay ho?"
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"Sirf aik baar." Uss ne jawab diya.
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"Main to dass (10) pandrah (15) baar shave karta hoon." Pehla bola.
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"Aap ajeeb admi hein?" Doosray ne kaha.
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"Iss mein ajeeb bat kya hai, main to hajjam hoon." Pehlay ne jawab diya.

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HILARIOUS JOKES - HURRY UP, BLONDES!

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't.
The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

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FUNNY URDU JOKES - SARDAR KA KARNAMA

Sardar apnay dost pathan ko bata raha tha: "Kal main ne tair kar darya paar karnay ka irada kiya lekin bilkul darmeyan mein pohnch kar thak gaya."
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Pathan barray tajassus se: "Phir kya hua?"
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"Hona kya tha?... Main darmeyan mein se palat kar phir wapas ussi kinaray per aa gaya." Sardar ne aqalmandi ka muzahira kartay huye kaha.

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VERY VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - GADHA

Ustad: "Car aur gadha gaarri mein farq bata saktay ho?"
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Pappu: "Ji han! Farq sirf itna hai k gadha gaarri mein gadha bahar aur car mein gadha andar hota hai."

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FUNNY URDU JOKES - DO GAYE AUR AIK MOTORCYCLE

Aik shaer apnay shaer dost se: "Zahid! Suna hai tumhara deewan chhap kar market mein aa gaya hai, kya kuch bikka?"
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Zahid sahb (thandi aah bhartay huye) bolay: "Haan zakhmi sahb! Do (2) adad gaye aur aik (1) adad motorcycle bikka hai."

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VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - RAILWAY MULAZIM

Musafir ne plate form per pohnch kar railway k aik mulazim se poocha: "Kya main Rawalpindi janay wali gaarri pakarr sakta hoon?"
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"Iss ka daromadaar to iss baat per hai keh aap kitna taiz dorr saktay hein, kion keh gaarri bees (20) minutes pehlay ja chuki hai." Railway mulazim ne saadgi se jawab diya.

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HILARIOUS JOKES - DRIVE TO DISNEYLAND

Two blondes were driving to Disneyland.
The sign said: "Disneyland Left."
So they started crying and headed home.

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FUNNY URDU JOKES - AURAT KA JAWAB

Islamabad se Lahore, bus k zariye safar k doran Aasif sahb ko aisi seat mili jahan aik aurat bhi baithi huee thi.
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Jiss ne masshoor kun khushboo wala scent laga rakha tha.
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Lahore pohnchnay se zara pehlay Aasif sahb ne uss aurat ko mukhatib kartay huye poocha: "Aap kaun sa scent istamal karti hein? Main bhi apni biwi k liye khareedna chahta hoon."
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Ab bus stop per ruk chuki thi, aurat apna bag sambhaal kar uthtay huye boli: "Agar main aap ki jagah hoti to apni biwi k liye scent na khareedti... Agar aap apni biwi k liye yeh scent khareedein gay to har shakhs uss se yehi sawal karay ga."

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FUNNY URDU JOKES - JINN DRIVER

Aik shakhs ne lift lenay k liye aik car ko ishara kiya.
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Car uss k qareeb aa kar aahista ho gaee to woh jaldi se uss mein baith gaya, magar yeh daikh kar heran reh gaya keh driving seat to khali hai aur gaarri khud bakhud chal rahi hai."
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Woh seham gaya lekin baitha raha.
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Kaafi dair k baad gaarri aik  petrol pump per ruki, paseenay mein doobay huye aik shakhs ne petrol bharwaya aur driving seat per aa kar baith gaya.
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Car mein baithay huye shakhs se uss ne kaha: "Aap iss seat per nahi thay... Kya iss car ko jinn chala rahay thay?"
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Uss shakhs ne jall kar jawab diya: "Main do (2) mile se iss car ko dhakka deta hua aa raha hoon aur aap keh rahay hein keh issay jinn chala rahay hein."

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VERY VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - KAMBAL

Aik american fauji apnay doston ko Afghanistan k safar ki rudaad suna raha tha.
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"Uff! Kitna larzah khaiz samaan tha. Meray daein baein, aagay peechay afghani hi afghani kharray thay."
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Aik dost ne beqarar ho kar poocha: "Khuda ki panah! Phir tum ne kya kiya?"
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American fauji bola: "Main kar hi kya sakta tha... Chaar-o-nachaar aik kambal unn se khareedna hi parra."

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VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - UNN PARRH PATHAN

Aik pathan Saudi Arab chala gaya.
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Wahan ghoomnay phirnay ki gharaz se nikla.
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Wahan jagah jagah per arbi likhi huee thi.
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Jahan arbi daikhta, choomna shuru kar deta.
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Kaafi dair issi tarah karta raha.
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Aik jagah per arbi mein kuch likha tha, pathan ne ussay choomna shuru kar diya.
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Paas se guzartay huye aik shakhs ne kaha: "Yeh tum kya kar rahay ho?"
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Pathan ne jawab diya: "Arbi likhi hai, main adab se choom raha hoon."
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Uss shakhs ne jawab diya: "O khan sahb yeh to bait-ul-khala likha hua hai."

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REALLY FUNNY URDU JOKES - KASHTI KA SAFAR

Do dost kashti per sawar kaheen ja rahay tha.
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Aik ne kaha: "Bhaee kashti dagmaga rahi hai, aisa na ho kaheen doob jaye?"
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Doosray ne kaha: "Doob janay do, kambakht ne karaya bhi bohat liya hai."

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VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - ACHI KHABAR

Doctor hadsay mein zakhmi honay walay mareez se keh raha tha: "Meray paas tumharay liye do (2) khabrein hein. Aik achi khabar aur aik buri. Tum kaun se khabar pehlay sun'na pasand karo gay?"
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Mareez ne kaha: "Pehlay buri khabar suna dein."
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"Buri khabar yeh hai keh hamein tumhari taangein kaatna parrein gi aur achi khabar yeh hai keh saath walay bed ka mareez tumharay jootay khareedna chahta hai."

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REALLY FUNNY URDU JOKES - WALID KA DARR

"Dear! Aaj ham university se chhutti kartay hein, aaj mera dill tum se batein karnay ko chah raha hai. Ham aaj shehar se bahar jaein gay, uss jagah na gaarriyon ka shor ho na logon ka hujoom aur jahan tumharay dadi ka khauf ho na meray walid ka darr. Tumharay aur meray ilawa koi na ho."
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"Lekin tum wahan mujhay chherro gay to nahi?" Larki ne sawal kiya.
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"Bilkul bhi nahi." Larkay ne jaldi se jawab diya.
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"To phir wahan janay ka kya faeyda?" Larki bezaar ho kar boli.

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