WALLET - HILARIOUS THIEVES JOKES

"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knows his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."
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The Judge looked at the defendant and asked: "How much English can you speak?"
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The defendant looked up and said: "Give me your wallet!" 

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EVIDENCE - VERY FUNNY COURT JOKES

Judge: "How do you plead? Guilty or not guilty?"
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Thief: "How do I know, your honor? I haven't heard the evidence yet."

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I TRIED TO TELL - VERY FUNNY POLICE JOKES

Judge: "The last time I saw you, I told you that I didn't want to see you here again."
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Thief: "That is what I tried to tell these policemen, your Honor, but they would not believe me."

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DISCOUNT - VERY FUNNY THIEVES JOKES

A judge looked severely at the thief and asked: "How many times have you been imprisoned?"

"Nine, you Honor."

"Nine? In this case, I will give you the maximum sentence."

"Maximum sentence?" said the thief.

"Don't you give your regular clients a discount."

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GIVE ME MY MONEY - FUNNY ROBBER JOKES

Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.
"Give me your money," he demanded.
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Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this, I''m a politician!"
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"In that case," replied the robber, "give me my money!"

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MAJBOOR BECHARA - VERY FUNNY THIEVE JOKES

Aik moti aurat ne chor pakra aur uss k uppar baith gaee, aur nokar se boli: "Ja police ko bula."
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Nokar: "Meri chappal nahi mill rahi."
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Chor rota hua bola:
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"O yar! Meri pa lay, per ja jaldi."

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MASOOM DHAMKI - FUNNY CHILDREN SMS JOKE

"Masoom dhamki."
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Aik chor chori kar k ghar se ja raha tha k achanak bachay ki aankh khul gaee, bacha bola:
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"Mera school bag vi lay ja kuttay deya putra, nahi tay main rola pa dena ey."

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THIS IS MY FIRST JOB - VERY FUNNY THIEVES JOKES

This is a hold-up, the thief told the miserly old man. "Hand over your money or else…"
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"Or else what?" the old man shot back.
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"Please don't confuse me,"
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the thief begged:
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"This is my first job."

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SHADI SHUDA - DATING JOKE

Police: Park mein aise kyun baithe ho?
Sardar: Ham donon shadi shuda hain.
Police: To ghar ja ke baitho.
Sardar: Wo ji, is ka shauhar aur meri bivi nahin baithne dete!

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POLICE OR AMBULANCE - HILARIOUS WIFE JOKE

English wife: Look a thief has entered our kitchen and he is eating the cake I prepared.

Husband: Whom should I call now, Police or Ambulance...?

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ASKING FOR A BIKE - HILARIOUS ONE LINER JOKES

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness...

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IPHONE JEETNAY KA MOQA - HILARIOUS JOKE

Pappu k haath mein I phone dekh k uss ki girlfriend ne poocha.
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Larki: "Aap ka mobile bohat achcha hai kitnay ka liya hai?"
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Pappu: "Race mein jeeta hai."
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Larki: "Wow race mein, kitnay log thay?"
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Pappu: "Teen police walay, aik mobile shop wala aur main."

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MEHANTI CHOR - HILARIOUS THIEVES JOKES

Judge mulzim se: "Tum ne aik hi raat mein 5 choriyan kar dalein."
"Kaisay?"
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Mulzim: "Bus judge sahb! Main bachpan se hi mehanti hoon."

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EK TAY CHORI - HUMOROUS JOKE

Sardar k ghar chor aa gaya.

Sardar ne dekha to chor ne bhagnay mein bhalaee samjhi,

Sardar bhi chor k peechay bhag parra.

Bhagtay bhagtay chor se bhu aagay nikal gya aur bola:
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Ek tay chori utton raisan v naal...

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2 SHIRTS - FUNNY JOKES

Wakeel:
"Puranay record k mutabiq aik saal pehlay tum do shirts churanay k jurm mein pakray gaye thay,
aur aaj bhi do shirts churanay k jurm mein pakray gaye ho.
Kya yeh such hai?"

Sardar:
"Han yeh sach hai, aap khud bataein k do shirts aik saal se zyada kaisay chal sakti hein?"

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MERE PAS GHARI NAHI THI - SARDAR FUNNY JOKES

Wakeel: "Tum ne uss doctor ki ghari kion churaee jis ne tumhein muft dawa di thi."
Sardar: "Janab! Doctor sahab ne kaha tha k dawa char ghantay baad peena aur mere pas ghari nahi thi."

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TAREEF - COMIC JOKE

Wakeel: "To tum ne jurm bari hoshiyari or safai se kiya."
Mulzim: "Shukria janab! Aap pehlay admi hein jinhon ne mere hunar ki tareef ki hai." 

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