VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - ANDA

Aik khatoon ne apnay shohar se kaha: "Aakhir tum ne apnay doston se yeh kion kaha keh tum ne mujh se iss liye shaadi ki keh main behtareen khana paka sakti hoon, halaankeh tumhein achi tarah pata hai keh main aik anda tak nahi ubaal sakti..."
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Shohar ne jawab diya: "Bhaee unhein tum se shaadi karnay ka koi na koi jawaz to btana hi tha."

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VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - SHAADI SHUDA

Ustad ne shagird se kaha: "Uss ne khudkhushi kar li aur ussay khudkhushi karni parri... Donon jumlon mein wazeh farq batao."
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"Iss ka to seedha saadha jawab hai sir!" Shagird ne kaha: "Phela jumla zahir karta hai keh woh parrha likha berozgaar tha jabkeh doosray jumlay se pata chalta hai keh woh shaadi shuda tha."

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VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - SHAADI KA KHARCHA

Bachay ne baap se poocha: "Abbu jaan! Shaadi per kam az kam kitna kharcha aata hai?"
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Baap ne jawab diya: "Beta! Maloom nahi, main to abhi tak adaeygi hi kar raha hoon."

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FUNNY URDU JOKES - JANNAT MEIN HOOREIN

Aik shaadi shuda larki ne apni dost se poocha: "Jannat mein mardon ko to hoorein millein gi. Aurton ko kya milay ga?"
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"Yehi apnay apnay khawand." Dost ne jawab diya.
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Larki ne zara talkh lehjay mein kaha: "Lo phir marnay ka faeyda?"

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VERY VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - DEHRIYA

"Tum Amjid se shaadi kion nahi kar laiteen?"
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"Lekin maa woh dehriya hai, jahannum per yaqeen nahi rakhta." Beti ne jawab diya.
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"To tum shaadi kar lo, ussay khud hi yaqeen aa jaye ga." Maa ne jawab diya.

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REALLY FUNNY URDU JOKES - CHHOOT KI BEEMARI

Arshad miyaan school late pohnchay to unn ki teacher ne wajah poochi.
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Arshad miyaan bolay: "Ammi beemar theen, unhein hospital lay janay ki taiyyari ho rahi thi. Mujhay apna nashta khud banana parra, iss liye dair ho gaee."
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Teacher tashveesh zadah ho kar boleen: "Tumhari ammi ko kaheen chhoot ki beemari na ho, tumhari wajah se woh beemari hamein bhi lagg sakti hai. Foran ghar jao aur kal uss ke baray mein achi tarah pooch kar class mein aana."
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Doosray roz Arshad miyaan ne classroom mein aa kar teacher ko bataya: "Ammi keh rahi hein keh agar aap shaadi shuda nahi hein to yeh beemari aap ko nahi lagg sakti, koin keh mera chhota bhai paida hua hai."

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VERY VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - DULHA

Nikah se pehlay molvi sahb ne ehtayatan elaan kiya: "Kisi sahb ko iss shaadi per koi aitraaz ho to beyaan kar sakta hai."
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"Mujhay kuch kehna hai." Aik aawaaz ubhri.
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"Chup raho, tum dulha ho." Molvi shab ne daanta.

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HILARIOUS JOKES - LOVING PET NAMES

An elderly gent was invited to his old friend's home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms-calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years, and they were still very clearly in love.
While the wife was off in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his buddy, "I think it's wonderful that, after all the years you've been married, you still call your wife those loving pet names."
The old man hung his head.
"I have to tell you the truth," he said, "I forgot her name about ten years ago."

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HILARIOUS JOKES - THE IDEAL HUSBAND

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.
"The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!"
An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Honey, if that's all you want, get a TV!"

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HILARIOUS JOKES - THE LADY KILLER

A man and a woman had been married some time when the woman began to question her husband.
“I know you’ve been with a lot of woman before. How many were there?”
The husband replied, “Look, I don’t want to upset you, there were many. Let’s just leave it alone.”
The wife continued to beg and plead. Finally, the husband gave in.
“Let’s see.” he said “There was one, two, three, four, five, six, YOU, eight, nine, “

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VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - MASHKOOK BUS

Aik sardar police inspector ki shaadi thi.
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Baraat ja rahi thi aur woh apnay dost k hamrah car mein baitha hua tha.
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Peechay aanay wali baraatiyon ki bus ko daikhtay huye woh apnay dost se kehnay laga:
"Peechay jo bus aa rahi hai, woh mujhay mashkook lagti hai. Ghar se yahan tak barabar hamara peecha kar rahi hai."

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VERY VERY FUNNY URDU JOKE - GHAZALA

Pehli martaba ishq mein giriftar honay k baad Abdul Quddoos sahb bhagay bhagay apnay dost k paas gaye.
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Haal-e-dill sunanay k baad unhon ne kaha: "Main pari wish se shaadi karna chahta hoon. Koi aisi tarkeeb batao keh woh shaadi per raza mand ho jaye."
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"Yeh to bohat aasaan hai," Dost ne kaha: "Uss ki aankhon mein aankhein daal kar kaho keh main tum se muhabbat karta hon, Ghazala kya tum mujh se shaadi karo gi?"
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"Mujhay afsos hai. Main yeh baat uss se hargiz nahi keh sakta." Abdul Quddoos sahb ka chehra latak gaya.
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"Kion?" Dost ne wajah poochi.
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Jawab mila: "Iss liye keh uss ka naam 'Ghazala' nahi hai."

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HILARIOUS JOKES - POLITICIAN'S POSITION

A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky.
‘If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I’m against it. But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I’m for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise.’

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BURI HAAR - VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES

Aik shakhs apnay dost se aleel arsay k baad mila aur bola:" Bhai! Tumhara woh tota kahan hai jo har waqt bolta hi rehta tha."
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Dost ne jawab diya: "Kya poochtay ho yar? Main ne shaadi kar li thi aur tota chand hi roz baad dil shikasta ho kar urr gaya tha."
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"Aakhir kion?" Uss ne poocha.
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Dost: "Bechara tota batein karnay mein meri begum se haar gaya tha."

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NAIKI KA FARISHTA - VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES

Aik aadmi sarrak k kinaaray kinaaray ja raha tha k aik aawaz ne ussay chonka diya.
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Koi chilla kar keh raha tha: "Ruk jao. Aik qadam bhi aagay barrhaya to maaray jao gay."
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Woh aadmi foran ruk gaya doosray hi lamhay aik eent uss k aagay aa giri, aur woh eent lagnay se bach gaya.
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Abhi woh do (2) hi qadam chala ho ga k phir ussay ussi aawaz ne ruknay per majboor kar diya.
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Uss ne achanak apnay qadmon ko break laga li.
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Agar woh zara si bhi dair karta to do (2) caron k tasadum mein maara jata.
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Woh apni khush qismati per bohat khush tha aur uss aawaz denay walay ka shukria adaa karna chahta tha.
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Uss ne idhar udhar daikha to aik shakhs uss k qareeb kharra muskura raha tha.
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Aadmi: "Kya tum ne mujhay ruknay k liye kaha tha?"
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Uss ne jawab diya: "Haan main ne hi kaha tha."
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Aadmi: "Tum kaun ho? Meray mohsin?"
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Woh bola: "Main naiki ka farishta hon aur tum ko har khatray se aagah karna mera kaam hai."
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Aadmi foran bola: "Magar tum uss waqt kahan thay jab main shaadi kar raha tha?"

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GIRWI - VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES

Khoobsurat gurriya jaisi pyari si haseen aurat ne apni saheli se kaha: "Tumhara kya khayal hai k main uss nawway (90) saal buddhay se shaadi kar rahi hoon?"
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"To aur kya...? Woh crore patti hai, iss liye tum uss se shaadi kar rahi ho." Haasid saheli ne kaha.
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Haseen aurat: "Tum ghalat samajh rahi ho, main kuch arsay k liye apnay aap ko uss k paas girwi rakh rahi hoon."

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CRORE PATI - REALLY FUNNY URDU JOKES

Aik aurat doosri aurat se: "Main ne apnay pehlay shohar ko shaadi k do (2) maah baad hi lakh pati bana diya."
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Doosri aurat: "To kya pehlay woh bohat ghareeb thay?"
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Jawab mila: "Nahi, pehlay woh crore pati thay."

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KHUSH AAMDEED - VERY FUNNY URDU/HINDI JOKE

Aik dehati bila-ijazat aik shaadi walay ghar mein ghuss gaya.
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Logon ne poocha: "Kion bhaee! Kya wajah hai jo iss khoobsurat ghar mein ghuss aaye ho?"
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Dehati bola: "Darasal baat yeh hai k bahar gait per likha hai 'Khush aamdeed'."

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DULHA - VERY VERY FUNNY URDU/HINDI SHAADI JOKE

Aik aadmi apnay gadhay ko nehla raha tha.
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Uss k hamsaye ne poocha: "Aray bhai! Issay kis khushi mein nehla rahay ho?"
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Aadmi bola: "Aaj iss ki shaadi hai."
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Hamsaye ne poocha: "Iss khushi mein hamein kya khilao gay?"
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Aadmi jhat se bola: "Jo dulha khaye ga, woh tum bhi kha lena."

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KAMGO INSAAN - VERY FUNNY FRIENDS URDU JOKE

Pehla dost: "Main bohat hi kamgo insaan hoon."
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Doosra dost: "Main bhi kamgo hoon kion keh tumhari tarah meri bhi shaadi ho chuki hai."

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