Showing posts with label Mothers Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mothers Jokes. Show all posts

FUNNY URDU JOKES - SHAADI WALI DUA

"Ya Allah!
Mere wo tamam gunah apne khaas fazl-o-karam se muaaf farma de... Jin ki wajah se meri shaadi ruki hui hai!"
.
.
.
.
.
NOTE:
Shadi shuda hazraat "ruki" ka lafz nikal kar parhen!

VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - PAPPU KI MUMMY

"Daddy! Main aap se baat kar raha hoon. Please mummy se mat kahiye ga, unhein bachay palnay nahi aatay." Pappu ne baap se shikayat kartay huye kaha.
.
.
.
Daddy: "Tumhein yeh khayal kion aaya beta?"
.
.
.
Pappu ne jawab diya: "Aap khud hi daikh lein k woh uss waqt mujhay sonay k liye bhaij deti hein jab main jaag raha hota hoon aur uss waqt jaga deti hein jab main so raha hota hoon."

VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - BAD QISMATI

"Aik roz mummy ne daddy ko baagh mein se sabzi torr laanay ko kaha. Daddy k haath mein lambay phall ka chaaqu tha, bad-qismati se daddy ka pair phisla aur woh iss tarah girray k taiz dhaar chaaqu ne unn k sheh rug kaat di."
,
,,
,,,
...
..
.
"Oh! Barra afsos naak waqeya tha..." Phir tumhari ammi ne kya kiya?"
.
..
...
,,,
,,
,
"Unhon ne uss roz majbooran daal pakaee thi."

FUNNY URDU JOKES - MAA KI KHAWHISH

"Meri to samajh mein nahi aata behan! k tum rupay paisay walay larkay k intazar mein kab tak apni larki ko ghar mein bitha rakho gi?" Aik parrosan ne doosri parrosan se kaha.
,
,
,
,
,
"Main rupay paisay ki lalchi nahi hoon," Doosri parrosan boli: "Main to kehti hoon k rupeya paisa chahay ho ya na ho lekin zameen jayedad aur jawahiraat zuroor hoon. Bus yeh kafi hai meri beti k liye."

VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - LITTLE JOHNNY

School ki chhutti k baad sab bachay apnay apnay ghar chalay gaye lekin pehli baar school aaya hua bacha Pappu school k bahar hi kharra raha.
.
.
.
Kafi dair baad jab ustad school se niklay to unhon ne Pappu ko daikh kar poocha: "Beta! Tum kion kharray ho? Kya ghar nahi jao gay?"
,
,
,
"Nahi sir!" Woh bola: "Ammi ne kaha tha k ab ab tumhein matric tak school mein hi rehna parray ga."

HILARIOUS JOKES - THE DISCOVERY

A little boy opened the big, old family Bible with fascination. He looked at the old pages as he turned them. The Bible had belonged to his grandmother. Then something fell out of the Bible.
He picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed between pages.
"Momma, look what I found", the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's suit!!!!!"

VERY VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - MERI JAAN

Doosray shehar mein rehnay walay larkay ne khatt mein apni maa ko salam dua k baad takeed ki keh meray chhotay bhai ko aik zor dar tapparr raseed krein kion k uss ne meri paanch so (500) wali shirt phaarr dali thi. Phir ussay bohat pyar karein kion k uss k liye main jaan bhi qurban kar sakta hoon.

REALLY FUNNY URDU JOKES - MAA KI PASAND

Beti (maa se): "Ammi! Aap k khayal mein mujhay kis qisam ka shohar talash karna chahiye?"
,
,
,
Maa: "Aray beti! Shoharon ka peecha chhorro aur apnay liye koi kanwaara talash karo."

VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - MUNNAY KI LORI

Biwi: "Kion ji munna ro raha hai?"
,
,
,
Shohar: "Kya karon? Nahi sota hai."
.
.
.
Biwi: "Lori suna kar sula do."
,
,
,
Shohar: "Main ne lori bhi gaee thi lekin parrosiyon ne kaha keh iss se acha to bachay ka rona hi tha."

VERY VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - HALWA

Baap: "Har shakhs safaee ko pasand karta hai."
,
,
,
Beta: "Lekin ammi ko safaee hargiz pasand nahi hai."
.
.
.
Baap: "Woh kaisay?"
,
,
,
Beta: "Aaj main almaari mein rakha hua halwa saaf kar gaya to ammi ne meri pitaee kar di."

FUNNY URDU JOKES - BACHAY HAMARAY EYHED K

"Kaisi mushkil hai behan!" Aik bachay ki maa ne doosri khatoon se kaha: "Aaj kal hamaray bachay bohat boltay hein. Mujhay to barri fikar rehti hai."
.
.
.
"Iss mein fikar ki kya baat hai?" Doosri khatoon ne poocha.
,
,
,
"Asal preshani ki baat to yeh hai keh yeh bachay bohat ghalat waqt per sach bol detay hein." Pehli khatoon ne jawab diya.

VERY VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - ULLU

Pappu (ammi se): "Ammi! Aap ko maloom hai? Baji andheray mein bhi daikh sakti hein.
.
.
.
Ammi (herangi se): "Tumhein kaisay maloom hua?"
.
.
.
Pappu: "Aadhi raat k waqt mujhay shadeed peyaas lagi aur jab main baji k kamray k saamnay se guzra to andhera honay k bawajood mujhay baji ki aawaaz aaee, baji keh rahi theen: "jaan! Kya baat hai? Aaj tum ne shave kion nahi ki?"

REALLY FUNNY URDU JOKES - DAMAAD

Aik jawan larki namaz parrh kar dua mangnay baith gaee.
.
.
.
Larki ki maa ne poocha: "Tum ne apni dua mein kya maanga?"
.
.
.
Larki ne jawab diya: "Maa! Main ne apnay liye kuch nahi maanga, balkeh aap k liye aik khoobsurat aur dolatmand damaad maanga hai."

VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - SARDAR JI KI AQAL

Aik sardar ji apnay betay k saath shehar ki tafreeh gaah mein ghoom rahay thay keh woh raasta bhool gaye.
.
.
.
Bohat dhoonda magar raasta nahi mila.
.
.
.
Jab thakkan se unn ka bura haal ho gaya to woh aik baith gaye.
.
.
.
Thorri dair baad sardar ji ne betay ko marna shuru kar diya aur bolay: "Oye gadhay! Main to chalo raasta bhool gaya hoon, tu to ghar ja. Teri maa tera intazar kar rahi ho gi."

VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - MERI SAAS

"Aaj meri saas aa rahi hai, do (2) haftay qayam ka irada hai uss ka..." Maalik ne naukar ko batatay huye saas ki pasand k khanon k fehrist thama di.
.
.
.
"Ji sahb ji! Main samajh gaya. Aaj hi se fehrist k mutabiq amal hoga." Naukar mustaiddi se bola.
.
.
.
"Kaisa amal?" Maalik ne poocha.
.
.
.
"Yehi k iss fehrist k mutabiq khanay taiyyar kiya karon ga." Naukar ne foran jawab diya.
.
.
.
"Bewaqoof! Agar iss fehrist mein se aik bhi khana paka to main tumhein naukri se nikaal don ga." Maalik ghussay se bola.

VERY VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - DEHRIYA

"Tum Amjid se shaadi kion nahi kar laiteen?"
.
.
.
"Lekin maa woh dehriya hai, jahannum per yaqeen nahi rakhta." Beti ne jawab diya.
.
.
.
"To tum shaadi kar lo, ussay khud hi yaqeen aa jaye ga." Maa ne jawab diya.

REALLY FUNNY URDU JOKES - CHHOOT KI BEEMARI

Arshad miyaan school late pohnchay to unn ki teacher ne wajah poochi.
.
.
.
Arshad miyaan bolay: "Ammi beemar theen, unhein hospital lay janay ki taiyyari ho rahi thi. Mujhay apna nashta khud banana parra, iss liye dair ho gaee."
.
.
.
Teacher tashveesh zadah ho kar boleen: "Tumhari ammi ko kaheen chhoot ki beemari na ho, tumhari wajah se woh beemari hamein bhi lagg sakti hai. Foran ghar jao aur kal uss ke baray mein achi tarah pooch kar class mein aana."
.
.
.
Doosray roz Arshad miyaan ne classroom mein aa kar teacher ko bataya: "Ammi keh rahi hein keh agar aap shaadi shuda nahi hein to yeh beemari aap ko nahi lagg sakti, koin keh mera chhota bhai paida hua hai."

VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - LEHAAF ORRH KAR

Maa ne aawaaz di: "Munnay tum kahan ho?"
.
.
.
"Main ghussal khanay mein naha raha hoon." Jawab aaya.
.
.
.
"Munnay sardi bohat hai. Bahar aa jao, nahi to thand lag jaye gi." Maa ne kaha.
.
.
.
Munna foran bola: "Ammi sardi nahi lagti. Main lehaaf orrh kar naha raha hoon."

HILARIOUS JOKE - LESSONS FROM FATHER

A young boy and his dad went out fishing one fine morning.
After a few quiet hours out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him.
He looked up at his dad and asked "How do fish breath under water?"
His dad thought about it for a moment, then replied, "I really don't know, son."
The boy sat quietly from another moment, then turned back to his dad and asked, "How does our boat float on the water?"
Once again his dad replied, "Don’t know, son."
Pondering his thoughts again, a short while later, the boy asks "Why is the sky blue?"
Again, his dad replied. "Don’t know, son."
The inquisitive boy, worried he was annoying his father, asks this time "Dad, do you mind that I'm asking you all of these questions?"
"Of course not son." replied his dad, "How else are you ever going to learn anything?"