VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - CHAAR SAMOSAY

Maizban (mehmaan se): "Mohtarma! Aik samosa aur kha lijiye."
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Mehmaan: "Nahi! Main pehlay hi do (2) kha chuki hoon."
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Maizban: "Khaye to aap ne chaar (4) hein, magar aik aur lay lijiye, main ginn rahi hoon."

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REALLY FUNNY URDU JOKES - HASEEN LARKI

Aik maindak ne qismat ka haal jan'nay k liye computer ka button dabaya.
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Jawab aaya k anqareeb tumhari mulaqaat aik naujawan aur haseen larki se ho gaee jo tumharay baray mein sab kuch jan'nay k khawhish mand hogi.
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Maindak ne khushi se be-taab ho kar computer mein sawal feed kiya k uss ki mulaqaat kahan hogi? Kisi party mein, kisi nehar ya talaab k kinaaray per?
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Medical college ki laboratory mein cheer phaar ki maiz per... Computer se jawab mila.

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FUNNY URDU JOKES - AIK NABEENA KI SHAADI

Aik nabeena shakhs ki shaadi huee.
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Aik din uss ki biwi shohar k saamnay apnay husn ki tareef kartay huye boli: "Main be-hadd haseen-o-jameel hoon, lekin afsos! Tum to mujhay nahi daikh saktay."
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Jab biwi ki tareefein apnay baray mein hadd se barh gaeen to nabeena shohar bol utha: "Kion fuzool mein bakwas kiye ja rahi ho?... Agar tum itni hi khoobsurat hoteen to aankhon walay kaisay bardasht kar letay k tum meri biwi bano."

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VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - BHOOK LAGI HAI

Qasaab ki dukan per aik khoobsurat khatoon sab gahakon ko taqreeban dhakailti aagay pohncheen aur boleen: "Mujhay jaldi se saat (7) rupay k chhichhrray day do."
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Phir unhein kuch khayal aaya, woh palat kar apnay peechay kharri huee umar raseeda khatoon se mukhatib hueen: "Ummeed hai k aap ne meri jald baazi ka bura nahi manaya hoga?"
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"Hargiz nahi..." Umar raseeda khatoon ne barri shafqat se jawab diya: "Tumhein yaqeenan bohat zor se bhook lagi hai."

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FUNNY ONE LINER - ARGUMENT WITH WOMEN

A woman has the last word in any argument...
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument!

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FUNNY ONE LINERS - LIKING ON FACEBOOK

I am wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of “liking” my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I’m awesome :p

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FUNNY URDU JOKES - LARKAY KI CHAHAT

"Laao, main tumhara haath loon." Larkay ne chahat bharay lehjay mein kaha.
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"Rehnay do, itna bhaari bhi nahi hai, main khud bhi thaam sakti hoon." Larki boli.

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REALLY FUNNY URDU JOKES - AAZMAYESHI SHAADI

Aik garam josh shedaee ne apni mehbooba se kaha: "Aao! Ham aazmayeshi shaadi kar lein. Agar ham ne mehsoos kiya k ham se koi ghalti huee hai to ham ko alag ho janay ka ikhtiyar hoga."
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Mehbooba ne kaha: "Tumhari tajveez bhi achi hai, lekin uss bechaari ghalti ka kya hoga?"

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VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - CHEWING GUM K PACKET

Aik airline apni flight k musafiron ko chewing gum taqseem karti thi, jiss k packet per likha tha k taiyyara chaltay aur utartay waqt kanon ko engine k shor se mehfooz rakhnay k liye istamal karein."
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Aik martaba aik khatoon ne doran-e-parwaz air hostess ko paas bula kar kaha: "Iss chewing gum ko meray kanon se nikalo, mujhay takleef ho rahi hai."

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VERY FUNNY URDU JOKES - AAZAD BIWI

"Chalo begum sair ko chaltay hein." Shohar ne aa kar khushgawar mood mein kaha.
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"Oh very good! Main bhi yehi kehnay wali thi." Biwi ne apna purse uthatay huye kaha: "Lekin daikho agar tum mujh se pehlay wapas aa jao to please sleeping room ki light jalti chhorr dena."

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FUNNY URDU JOKES - AFSOS WALI BAAT

Aik sahb ne apnay dost ko bataya: "Raat main ne aik afsos naak khawb daikha. Main aik jazeeray per Miss England, Miss America aur Miss Scotland k saath saath mojood tha."
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"Iss mein afsos ki kya baat hai?" Dost ne poocha.
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"Main uss waqt Miss Hong Kong tha." Unhon ne aah bhar kar kaha.

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FUNNY URDU JOKES - SARDAR KI BIWI

Sardar pathan se: "Main apni biwi se tang aa chuka hoon."
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Pathan: "Kion?"
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Sardar: "Jhoot bohat bolti hai."
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Pathan: "Tumhein kaisay pata chala?"
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Sardar: "Uss ne aaj subh mujhay bataya k woh kal raat apni saheli k haan soee thi, halankeh uss ki saheli k haan pichli raat mera qayam tha."

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REALLY FUNNY URDU JOKES - LAHORE MEIN TEEKAY

Party mein uss haseen larki ki qameez kohniyon tak thi, uss k bawajood aik naujawan uss ki sadol kalaiyon ko lalchaee huee nazron se daikhay ja raha tha.
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Larki guftugu k doran uss larkay k nadeeday pan ko mehsoos kartay huye boli: "Halankeh mujhay bachpan mein hifazti teekay bhi lagg chukay hein lekin pichlay dinon mera blood test karnay k baad doctor ne chand beemariyon k teekay dobara lagaye, woh jaga abhi tak buri tarah dukh rahi hai jahan teekay lagay hein."
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"Kahan lagaya thay aap ko teekay?" Naujawan ne ishtiyaq se poocha.
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"Lahore mein." Larki ne barri masoomiyat se jawab diya aur aagay barrh gaee.

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HILARIOUS JOKES - THE GREAT CHOICE

A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle.
The first nerd was stunned and asked, “Where did you get such a nice bike?”
The second nerd replied, “Well, yesterday I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ’Take what you want!’”
The second nerd nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”

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HILARIOUS JOKES - HURRY UP, BLONDES!

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't.
The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

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HILARIOUS JOKES - DRIVE TO DISNEYLAND

Two blondes were driving to Disneyland.
The sign said: "Disneyland Left."
So they started crying and headed home.

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HILARIOUS JOKES - DIABETIC BRUNETTE

A nurse at hospital received a call from an anxious patient.
“I’m diabetic and I’m afraid I’ve had too much sugar today.” the caller said.
“Are you light-headed?” the nurse asked.
“No,” the caller answered, “I’m a brunette.”

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HILARIOUS JOKES - THE GENEROUS BLONDE

A BLOND says to her friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."
The friend says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"
The generous BLOND replies, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!"

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BLONDE WINS - HILARIOUS JOKES

A blonde woman was standing at the pop machine; she put in her money and pressed the Coke button and out came a can of Coke. She looked at it and smiled.
She took out a dollar, put it in the pop machine pressed the 7Up button and out came a can of 7Up. She looked at it and really started smiling.
She put in the change from her dollar and pressed the Coke button again, out came another can of Coke.
Then she was just beaming! There was a man standing there watching her, and he finally went up to her and said, "What are you doing?" She looked at him and said, "Duh, I'm winning!"

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SHOULDERS - HILARIOUS JOKES

A blonde and a burnett are catching up ofter having not seen each other for a while, the burnett says to the blonde, "I'm married to Kenny now."
The blonde replies, "Really, I used to date him. Isn't he the one with the really bad dandruf?"
"Yeah," answered the burnett, "but I fixed that, I gave him head and shoulders."
The blonde looked really confused and after a few moments asked, "How do you give Shoulders?"

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